all or nothing #22 - what goes unnoticed?
table of contents
1.events 2.words 3.missed connections 4.horoscope 5.listen
»looking forward
autonomy opening
In this new group exhibition, artists consider what it means to have autonomy over their bodies in a world that undermines choice. Join us for the opening reception this Saturday, June 8, from 6-9 pm to feel in control. Autonomy is on view through June 30 at our East Village location (77 East Third Street, New York, NY, 10003).
»looking back
art at work closing
Like art, work never really ends. It’s essentially just an extension of life and life is maintenance. Through a plethora of mundane and reflexive tasks, we maintain our bodies, minds, living spaces, and the world around us without celebration or even much thought. Yet sometimes what we disregard as meaningless and the moments we discard as wasted are actually beautiful; it’s really all about consideration and perspective. So, next time you see a sanitation worker, maybe don’t honk your horn, but offer them a firm handshake and an affirming head nod instead.
words
+let me get a better look+
Other people's stuff will always look better than your own. Regardless of the countless hours of therapy, mediation, and self-work, there’s no vanquishing the little voice in the back of your head urging you to covet. Coveting your neighbor’s perfectly manicured lawn, their perfectly supportive spouse, their dog that actually plays fetch, their rent stabilized loft in Williamsburg, that profile they got in Artforum, their seemingly endless reservoirs of energy, their carefree charisma, their blue check on Instagram, their organic raw vegan diet, their perfectly proportioned frame that makes all t-shirts perfectly drape off their body, and, most importantly, that month long solo exhibition they just scored at the hyper-prestigious All Street Gallery. From afar, everything they have is better than what you have and it will always be better because distance creates fairytales. When considering a single day as a microcosm of an entire life, you don’t have to see other people wake up in the morning looking all crusty and confused nor do you have to see them on the precipice of exhaustion with bloodshot eyes and drool hanging from the corners of their grubby mouths, ready to fall into a deep slumber. All you see of another person is the external. The finished product that is holding together all the trauma, self-doubt, delusions, heartbreak, dysfunctional relationships, unanswered text messages, and the other core tenants of personality - without a clear view into that chaotic mess of emotional blood, guts, and entrails, you’ll always be inferior to anyone you compare yourself to. Whether the comparison is valid or not doesn’t even matter. It’s impossible for you to actually perceive yourself. Your entire being serves as context that prevents you from objective self reflection. Mirrors, photos, videos, and even other people’s words of encouragement or discouragement get filtered through the impenetrable wall that is every thought you’ve ever had. So, essentially, you just take outside stimuli to confirm your own preconceived biases. For most people, this perception is constantly in flux, as sometimes it will result in a delusional inflated sense of self, or manifest as a deep depression. Neither arrogance nor self-loathing are particularly appealing traits, though, so people will go to great lengths to hide these internal core feelings. Growing up is largely said to be learning how to “manage” your feelings, which more realistically translates to learning how to pretend you’re okay in order to make other people around you feel okay. Thus, adult life commences as a forever journey toward finding the perfect balance of not coming off conceited yet remaining sure of yourself, while also being aware and vulnerable enough to allow people to relate to you. As long as you can come to some general level of this perceived “okay,” then your life is seen as perfect. However, in a perfect world, everyone should be able to proclaim when they are struggling and receive ample support, but that’s more of a temporary remedy than a solution. I’ve never been sure what it accomplishes to tell someone you’re feeling bad in casual conversation. If I answer, “How are you?” with “Well, my bank account has three digits, I’m pretty sure my dad is showing early signs of Alzheimer's, I’m racked with guilt over how I left things with my ex, and oh yeah, I’m a shitty artist trying to make shitty art! So you know, shitty!” Absolutely no one wins in that situation. I feel embarrassed because I just overshared, there’s no longer a conservation happening, and instead I’m forcing whoever I’m talking to to give me some sort of validation. To escape the exchange without falling into an immediate cycle of regret and shame, parting with some kind words might be nice, but it won’t have a long lasting effect. When you receive a compliment, you’re simultaneously judging that compliment against every disparaging comment that’s ever been made about you, or that you’ve independently thought of yourself. Compliments can be momentarily impactful, but often will dissipate in favor of negative self talk. However, on certain occasions, the word will stick with you beyond a fleeting moment and serve as an anchor in either further dragging you down, or grounding your confidence in something solid. Typically, such foundational memories of praise or critique are less about the substance of what is being said and more about who’s saying it, why they're saying it, where you are both physically and mentally when it’s being said, and, most importantly, how it’s being said. The problem with a casual “How are you?” is the lack of intention that’s now come to be associated with the extremely standard and impersonal greeting. Without any specificity or personalization, the question just falls flatly into a robotic volley. Genuine connection is all about the little details that make someone feel seen or understood. It’s not even about grand gestures. Everyone is different and there’s no one size fits all solution to acknowledging another person’s feelings. The best thing you can do is carefully listen to and observe the subtle hints that this other person is struggling and then, in turn, you can use their pain to make yourself feel better because it just goes to show that no one has it figured out.
missed connections
+5.28 by all means: figure drawing
You: insecure, but don’t know what for
Me: the only one in the room that can see it
Description:
you chose the shabbiest little pieces of charcoal and eraser because you didn’t want them to feel left out. well, lucky for you, I now choose you.
+art at work closing
You: going up in value
Me: willing to invest in our future
Description:
my love isn’t malleable, recyclable, or sustainable; the only thing it’s “able” to do is love you.
+secret concert
You: a wallflower
Me: ready to tend to your sheetrock garden
Description:
the former landscaper resigned in the wake of ruin, leaving your once lush blossoms decaying in the void of blank wall space. but don’t worry. I can fix that.
horoscopes
+Aries+
From afar, you can see everything and nothing at the same time, but up close, all you can see is nothing at all.
+Taurus+
Never go unnoticed, but always stay unseen.
+Gemini+
Laws are to be disobeyed and rules are to be broken, but instructions must always be followed. Find an old instruction manual in your crib. It can be for anything. Your toaster, your TV, whatever. Get a pen. Not a pencil. A pen. Circle the first vowel and last two consonants on every page. Take record of all the resulting letters, make sure to write it out by hand. Then write out the following letters in the alphabet for each letter in the previously written list. Photocopy the list. Then reload the same piece of paper and slightly adjust the positioning of the scan. Photocopy again. Repeat the process until you’ve done it 26 times (for each letter of the alphabet). Put the piece of paper in an envelope and mail it to the person in your contacts with the longest last name. If there’s a tie in last name length, then use first name length to determine the winner. If that’s also a tie, then add the first and last name lengths together to see whose is the longest. If that doesn’t work, throw middle names into the mix. The devil’s in the details, but if there’s a devil, then god’s probably there, too.
+Cancer+
Knowing when to strike is not half the battle, it’s the whole war.
+Leo+
If speech is silver and silence is golden, then what’s bronze?
+Virgo+
As you enter this period of deep cleansing, remember that all that was dirty can once again become clean, but so, too, can everything clean once again be dirty.
+Libra+
Sometimes the loudest in the room is just the loudest in the room.
+Scorpio+
A famous Canadian once said, “Subtle reminders are key,” and, surprisingly, he’s right. Subtlety is the skeleton key that opens all doors with ease.
+Sagittarius+
As long as you know, then what does it matter that they know what you know? At that point, is it really about knowing, or is it about proving?
+Capricorn+
Tell a friend the answer and you reach them for a day; show a friend the reason and you teach them a better way.
+Aquarius+
Look closer. There will always be more to see.
+Pisces+
Take it down a notch.
playlist
+Send us your writing, ideas, notes, observations or anything you want to gallery@allstnyc.com to be considered for future editions of all or nothing+
image credits
Rubeen Salem, As Good as It Gets.