all or nothing #46 - what does it all mean?
table of contents
1.events 2.words 3.missed connections 4.horoscope 5.listen
»current
clocking in, clocking out exhibition - 119 hester street
time is a symbol of work. and work is a symbol of effort. and effort is a symbol of will. and will is a symbol of determination. and determination is a symbol of mentality. and mentality is a symbol of mind. and mind is a symbol of spirit. and spirit is symbol of body. and body is a symbol of art and art is a symbol of body. like a ticking clock, the ephemeral cycle goes round and round forever in rotation, ebbing and flowing in and out of flux. that gentle circular movement shaking the synapses awake with the deft precision of a metallic cylinder punching through a timecard. residency unlimited and curator jesse firestone have blessed all street gallery’s hester street location with a vortex of creation from the very talented grouping of artists ayanna dozier, bat-ami rivlin, fields harrington, and cato ouyang. the exhibition will be on view through july 2nd.
words
+how to unsuccessfully find meaning+
if i spend enough time alone, i forget how to talk. it is, in fact, not like riding a bike. biking is simple. you close your eyes, flap your arms, move your feet in a jerky side-to-side motion, and voilà: you’re biking. or at least so i’ve heard. i don’t know how to ride a bike. but i do know how to talk, vaguely. i’d much rather write than talk, but i still hate texting. texting doesn’t count as writing. anyway, i think we can all agree that talking is far more complicated than biking. you have to simultaneously keep your eyes and ears open, but only open your mouth at the right times, because if you just leave it hanging open all time you’ll look like a damn fool and bugs will fly in there and make a home. after a couple days inside the dark basement i typically dwell in, hiding from the rest of the world behind my big ‘ole monitor and wreaking havoc across comments sections at my frequently visited sites, my ability to communicate in real time significantly diminishes. online, i am god. i am the architect of my own world. i can reflect, compose, edit, brainstorm, and edit again. anything is possible with a little bit of effort. on the other hand, speaking is an exercise in giving up control. once a word is said it can never be unsaid, thus increasing the stress levels of every conversation to unfathomable heights. the looming stress of conversing is enough to drive anyone into temporary hiding and eventually long-term insanity, but until that frightful day, i disappear into the world of my electronics. it’s like an inverse of a cleanse and the only thing i’m trying to detox is every single living thing around me. following a self-isolated hiatus from the real world, i return not with gained perspective, but with retinas burned so bad that everyone i see is glowing slightly and has a permanent motion blur obscuring their every movement. perhaps you might be thinking this damn fool would benefit from a pair of glasses, but no. glasses are only for intellectuals and aughts hipsters that are trying way too hard to remain relevant. i put no effort in, but remain irrelevant. big difference. trying is both simultaneously cool, but also so, so uncool in the wrong environment and with a poor delivery. similarly, you’re supposed to try and socialize with others but it’s a thin line between determined and thirsty. trying to straddle that line, everything i say or do has about a five second delay, resulting in a lot of awkward glances and uncomfortable silence. it’s gut wrenching. clumsily navigating the rhythms of social interaction is like blindly wading out into a mine field. except without the life or death stakes, or any risk of physical harm, or really any major stakes. but it feels rather intense though. and even with extremely close friendships, if enough time passes, any social rapport or banter can easily be replaced for an oatmeally mix of dull and sloshy small talk. numerous questions remain: when to make eye contact, when to look away, when to laugh, when to smile, how big of a smile, how big of a laugh? all of those considerations must be factored in while listening, computing, and formulating answers that maintain the guise of a normal person. some might say oh there goes that brain rot everyone’s talking about but no. my brain isn’t rotting, in fact its growing. morons spend a lot of time thinking about the roman empire because they falsely believe that there is nothing left to conquer in our present world. they’re wrong. there is, in fact, vast lands that are completely untouched simply waiting to be taken by brute force or strategy, depending on what you’re into. the only issue is that it’s not easy to get there. but if you think murdering and pillaging by the thousand was easy, then guess what? i don’t know, i wasn’t alive during the roman empire. go read a book if you want to know. but remember, books are just archives of the past. don’t you want to go to the future? the future is an adventure and there’s no greater adventure than what i’m about to share. the answer is a combination of looking within in order to look beyond. from one perspective it could be a trap or a maze, but from another perspective it is immortality or infinity. so with that said, the backrooms of your mind are waiting for you. all you have to do is go out and start looking. and make sure to get lost.
missed connections
+6.13 clocking in, clocking out reception
you: basically levitating
me: on the wall
description:
i said i wasn’t looking, but we both know i was. i think you liked it, though? if you did, then meet me under the weeping willow in seward park at dusk tonight.
+6.7 subway screening
you: always a stop away from something
me: having trouble stopping anything
description:
i was headed uptown you were headed downtown. our eyes met in the median. maybe we’ll meet again, but probably not. i don’t even know why i’m writing this. i guess just to prove to myself that it really happened.
horoscopes
+Aries+
be wary of strange items that glow in the dark and offer to grant your wishes.
+Taurus+
spend a lot of time looking up over the next couple of weeks. the stars are trying to tell you something. and it’s important.
+Gemini+
that struggling gemini once proclaimed, “every interview i'm representin' you, makin' you proud,” which exemplifies the representin’ matrix. if you seek to represent others, you will eventually lose yourself.
+Cancer+
looks don’t deceive people. people deceive people. legalize judging a book by its cover.
+Leo+
every fact started as a rumor; it’s just about what you choose to believe.
+Virgo+
sometimes red means stop; sometimes it means love, and sometimes it just means red.
+Libra+
if one hand washes the other, can any hand ever get clean?
+Scorpio+
what does squirtle mean to you? do you even know squirtle’s last name? and yes, of course, squirtle has a last name you freaking muggle. the fact that you doubt me is exactly the problem. so, imagine this: you’re a turtle, but not just any turtle. a blue turtle that can kind of talk, sort of. but you can only say one word. and because you can only say one word, everyone starts calling you that one word. you never said that was your name, but it doesn’t matter; the world is rolling with it and they won’t stop. you don’t love that your name has been chosen for you, but it’s nice being known, being recognized. your lore grows bigger and bigger to the point that it’s not even about you anymore. your name means something to other people that has nothing to do with you anymore. you’re real, but really, you’re just a figment of their imagination. it’s flattering to know people think about you, but does it matter that it’s not the real you? is there even a real you? or are you trying to live up to the expectations of what you represent at this point? you look inward, then outward, and thus the investigation begins. you travel far and wide to various distant lands through the internet, and eventually, you learn that others look like you, but in different countries. you connect with them and learn that they speak different languages, but also can only say one word. and that one word is a direct translation of that one word you can say. in french it’s carapuce, in german it’s schiggy, in korean it’s kkobugi, and in japanese it’s zenigame. but you are squirtle.
+Sagittarius+
knock! knock! who’s there? no one.
+Capricorn+
there are two types of people in this world: those who believe science is magic and those who believe magic is science. either way, they’re both going to die one day.
+Aquarius+
you represent only yourself. which is absolutely nothing.
+Pisces+
believe it and it shall be!!!
playlist
+send us your writing, ideas, notes, observations or anything you want to gallery@allstnyc.com to be considered for future editions of all or nothing+
image credits
images by ayanna dozier from clocking in, clocking out, curated by jesse firestone, presented by residency unlimited, featuring bat-ami rivlin, fields harrington, cato ouyang, and ayanna dozier.