all or nothing #43 - can you overcome?
table of contents
1.events 2.words 3.missed connections 4.horoscope 5.listen
»looking forward
the space in between opening reception - 5.1, 6 - 9pm
art exists between the moments of recognition when time flattens into a physical product and allows the evolution of fleeting imagination into the never ending nebula of the present. this is the space in between. the bolster arts residency provided artists grace lynne haynes and cassandra mayela allen the space to create a comprehensive body of work that simultaneously speaks and yells to one another. so come through for a journey of creation akin to an artistic big-bang at our 77 e 3rd st location on may 1st from 6-9pm for the opening of the space in between, a duo exhibition by grace lynne haynes and cassandra mayela allen, on view through may 20.
words
+how to unsuccessfully blow your nose+
as the mucus began to build up in my nostrils, threatening to burst out with a powerful sneeze, i retired to the restroom to find nasal relief in the form of a scratchy piece of toiler paper. in my haste to locate a tissue, i momentarily left my computer open and unattended with a series of disjointed notes and half-baked ideas that would eventually become this newsletter sprawled out over a google doc on the screen. when i returned to my seat, something was different. something was off. the text on the document had shifted. i quickly scanned the page and soon discovered a couple words i absolutely did not write. i read the words over and over and over again, questioning my own sanity, wondering if i had perhaps written them. but i knew i didn’t. you’re probably wondering what it even said. perhaps it was a confession of love, a shy poet too scared to approach seized the opportunity to anonymously shoot their shot? or maybe a jilted past lover committed to playing small tricks upon me until i’m slowly driven mad? or just a stranger with a penchant for mischief. “i hate you. i hate this.” the words cut me like a chainsaw moving through room temperature butter left out on the kitchen table in the middle of april, just as the warmth of spring starts to rear its sprite-like head, leaving the butter soft but not entirely melted, as the churned dairy concoction mostly keeps it’s wedge like shape but sits in a greasy pool of its own contents that has begun to form at its bottom. all that to say that it didn’t feel good. i was a mess. a shell of myself unable to make sense of this new apparently hostile world i had unknowingly entered. everyone was a suspect. the hushed conversations swirling around me swelled into harsh mockery as i imagined every eyeball and finger in the room being sharply pointed at me. although i was certainly disturbed by the invasion of privacy, what was far more damaging was knowing this unknown critic had judged me based off such an unfair depiction of my ability. showing someone a first draft is nerve wracking enough, but this wasn’t even a draft. there wasn’t a completed paragraph. it was loose, it was free, it was jazz in the written form, just a series of absolutely dynamite lines that without the context of my own mind would seem rather pedestrian and dumb. and to make matters worse, i was jumping between projects, so at times i was really typing, like fully getting into it, listening to music and bouncing around too. so from the outside, it would appear i had been passionately working on this single document as if it was my magnum opus. my anxious brain connects all these dots and produces the worst possible outcome. this person or ghost (we’ll never actually know), will forever think that i’m deluded enough to have spent nearly an hour cranking away at complete nonsense. they think that i’m not only dumb, but even worse, completely lacking any self awareness. for anyone with even a monocomb of common sense and worldly understanding would immediately see that the person who produced the words on that page should not waste another moment attempting to write. honestly, the nefarious character may actually just be a brave person with poor bedside manner, as they were attempting to dissuade me from further wasting my life, typing away like a happy idiot at the computer. so if you’re too polite to blow your nose in a room full of strangers because you don’t want to be obnoxious or gross anyone out, but can’t explain that it’s allergy season and you're not contagious, then just remember to close your computer before going to the bathroom.
missed connections
+4.17 the mill opening
you: had a beige tote bag
me: also had a beige tote bag
description:
i’ll tell you what’s in my bag if you tell me what’s in yours
+4.24 edward performance
you: already an absolute vibe
me: ready to vibe
description:
there was a vibe in the air. a vibe in my shoe and a vibe on the stairs. the vibe in your eyes, made vibes in my thighs, then wiggled all over and made the vibes thrive. but even after all this seductive eye-tag you just walked away, so now i’m wondering was there a vibe or am i just a crazy person?
horoscopes
+Aries+
if it feels like you’ve only ever had bad luck, then maybe its time to accept that maybe luck isn’t the problem, but you are.
+Taurus+
in most cases no means no, except when it comes to art, where no also means no but instead everyone takes it to mean try harder.
+Gemini+
that other famous gemini triumphantly remarked, “against all odds, i showed up as a gentleman,“ reminding us all that in the midst of battle delusions of grandeur may be amplified.
+Cancer+
defying expectations is perhaps more satisfying than defying gravity, but sticking the landing is definitely even harder.
+Leo+
would you rather have won a bunch of money and lost it all on one bad bet or never win any money in the first pace and just be a constant loser?
+Virgo+
sometimes a winner is a dreamer who just won’t quit. or maybe they’re just still asleep.
+Libra+
let the water run through your fingers. although you can’t catch the current, you may catch a fish.
+Scorpio+
despite our best efforts, we’ll probably survive. not you nor me but the collective “we,” ya know? everyone wants to talk about doomsday and how it’s the end of the world and everything, and all of that is 10000% true, but we’re like roaches. rich and very well connected roaches with the singular goal of surviving. so know that no matter how bad things get, there’s a backup plan. for them at least. we’ll be ducked out of luck, but we can all rest easy knowing that our billionaire overlords will carry on the legacy of the human race into eternity. let me guess. that’s not satisfying for you, is it? well, not for us, either. but don’t trip. we got the solution. burying sh*t. yep. it’s as simple as that. find some earth. dig a hole. put something in the hole. then cover the hole. and boom, you’re done. of course, don’t bury anything that’s bad for the earth like a snickers wrapper, but meaningful stuff like a lunchbox filled with a random assembly of knickknacks. you never heard of a time capsule, bro? well damn, welcome to the future. the number one fear of all human beings is being forgotten. left behind in the ruins of time and space never to be seen, heard, or even considered again. it’s scary to think that you just happen then stop happening and never happen again, while all these other things and people keep happening forever. so why not just keep happening? strategically burying little pieces of yourself all over this planet assures that your personhood will be experienced by strangers and perhaps strange beings for the rest of time. so, gather a collection of your most valuable or least valuable belongings that uniquely define your character, choose a spot and start digging.
+Sagittarius+
the fact you’re even alive right now is a complete statistical miracle, why not keep pushing your luck?
+Capricorn+
sometimes at your lowest point things will get even lower and then just keep going down.
+Aquarius+
always bet on black. it never cracks.
+Pisces+
this too shall pass.
playlist
+send us your writing, ideas, notes, observations or anything you want to gallery@allstnyc.com to be considered for future editions of all or nothing+
image credits
images are by grace lynne haynes, as part of her duo exhibition with cassandra mayela allen, the space in between, on view at 77 e 3rd street through may 20.