all or nothing #40 - do you understand me?
table of contents
1.events 2.words 3.missed connections 4.horoscope 5.listen
»looking forward
gold god meat - 3.27, 6 - 9pm
in response to her visceral exploration of feminine nature as both a divine reclamation and a corporeal surrender, artist annu yadav shares, “i needed to escape reality in order to confront it.” using the binaries of life and death, and masculine and feminine, the multidisciplinary artist boldly expresses the mysteries of life, identity, and the cosmos, often beyond our understanding. join us at the opening reception on march 27, 6 - 9pm at 77 east third street. the show will be on view through april 6.
the mill - 4.17, 6 - 9pm
how do you understand a space with so much history? artists miguel de laveaga, naava guaraca, and taylor stout immersed themselves in a defunct grist mill turned artist studio in the hudson valley, resulting in plein air paintings, photographs, and print publications. the group exhibition opens on april 17 from 6 - 9 pm at all street’s 119 hester street location, and will remain on view through april 27. there will also be a free zine-making workshop from 1 - 3 pm on april 26, no rsvp required.
words
+how to unsuccessfully fix a computer+
a little over a month ago my laptop broke. as i watched smoke slowly rise from the charging port of the now useless lump of smooth plastic and glass concealing a mess of dead wires and circuits, i laughed. i sat there feeling the last bits of digital life waft out of my dying machine and radiating my thighs with a concerning warmth that danced just on the edge of extreme discomfort. i like to imagine the intense heat generated in my crotch was the soul of my computer saying goodbye, leaving me with low-level burns in its memory. sitting alone in a rat-infested basement, literally laughing out loud, i felt as if this moment was the opening scene in what would become my inevitable descent to becoming a joker-esque supervillain. with dozens of emails to answer, graphics to design, and pieces to write, i closed my computer and turned off my cell phone to effectively remove myself from the world of perpetual tasks and meaningless responsibilities i have foolishly crafted for myself over the past couple of years. in reality, none of it tangibly mattered in the slightest. no one was relying on me to deliver an organ or organize a food drop-off to an orphanage. no one would significantly suffer if my fingertips never touched a keyboard or screen again. furthermore, i have a background that would allow me to become a skilled laborer, abandoning a life of art cons and creative games of deception that equate to the life of an artist, always needing to prove my value. admittedly, this is a rather dramatic reaction to a broken computer that, when boiled down to a sum of its parts, holds no legitimate value other than the raw materials, minerals, and metals used to craft the hardware. most importantly, a broken computer can usually be fixed and typically any sentimental memories or unique projects can still be resurrected from the device's internal hard drive. that is, if you have the money. but here’s the chicken and the egg. most artists make just enough money to survive and when they do make a little excess, they spend it on something dumb and extravagant to hopefully advance their art career like some special paint, or a ten year lease on a gallery space in the lower east side. eventually, they end up sitting in a decaying palace of potential without enough money and resources to advance or even maintain their initial investment. but the best part of being an artist is coming up with creative workarounds for simple problems that actually have incredibly obvious solutions. however, a crucial part of the artistic process is, in fact, the process. thus, anything and everything can be seen as some form of research and development regardless of how seemingly stupid it is. rather than taking my computer into the store to see how much it would cost to get fixed, i instead wake up every morning, say a little prayer and set positive intentions into the world as i click the power button, hoping that it will miraculously turn on again. it never does. i then cycle through trying to convince myself that computers are unhealthy and that i’m becoming a more grounded person by cutting the cord and, thus, from this day forward, i’ll exist only with the handwritten word. but then i obviously can’t find a pencil with an eraser and can’t use pen because crossing out words is f*cking disgusting and the opposite of aesthetic, so i end up here, manically typing on the notes app to then copy and paste into the substack mobile app, which isn’t suited for actually drafting newsletters, but what can you do? nothing matters anyway.
missed connections
+3.1 can’t (un)see it reception
you: look like john cena
me: looks like sia
description:
apart we’re invisible, but together they can’t see us
+3.7 satellite ranch
you: have a gravitational pull
me: stuck in your orbit
description:
at evening’s arrival i thought you to be a star yet, in reality, you’re the sun incarnate, drawing me in like a moth to a great ball of fire
+3.9 speak friend sxsw debut
you: a verb
me: an adverb
description
i need you to function, but you’ll do what you want regardless and that’s a hard pill to swallow
horoscopes
+Aries+
it’s not about what you say, it’s about how you say it. confidence trumps everything. exude enough confidence and, who knows, you might even be elected president and bring about the end of the world one day.
+Taurus+
if someone doesn't understand what you’re saying, then just say it louder. volume is always the answer.
+Gemini+
that infamous gemini once exalted, “i don't take advice from people less successful than me,“ which really begs the question, how do you define success? because at the end of the day, everything in this world is subjective.
+Cancer+
there’s a difference between listening and following, so just keep calm and remember what simon says.
+Leo+
if ignorance is bliss, then perhaps if we start ignoring one another again we can began to spread more bliss.
+Virgo+
questions are just answers that haven’t been thought of yet. think about it.
+Libra+
what’s lost in translation will eventually be found in whatever nonsense you want to make up to make yourself feel better.
+Scorpio+
find a dictionary. you’ll need it. turn to the page that corresponds with your mother’s birthday. if you don’t remember her birthday, then that’s ok. we won’t know, but you will, and deep down you’ll know that you're a horrible, horrible person. but even an absolute nightmare like you can still accomplish a basic mission of self improvement. so stay focused and get back on track. identify the fifteenth word on the page. how many letters are in the word? go to the page that corresponds with the number of letters. close your eyes and pick a word at random. do you recognize the word? does it resonate with you? what does it mean? can you use the word in a sentence? if not, why do you think that is? have you ever even tried? is that from a lack of knowledge, or a lack of confidence? don’t let the system control your mind. close your eyes and practice the word a couple times. let it become comfortable rolling off your tongue. phone a friend, practice it out on them. as soon as they pick up, just use that word in place of all other words. when they inevitably hang up, call them again. at this point, they may send you to voicemail. that’s ok. leave them a nice heartfelt message using only that same word. eventually, as you continue to practice expanding your vocabulary, the moment will eventually come. i can’t explain the moment to you, because that must be felt out, but you’ll know it when it arrives. so, go forth and remain vigilant. and when the moment comes, say what you need to say with your chest.
+Sagittarius+
words can be misheard, whispers can be too quiet, and even texts can be misconstrued, but emojis are forever.
+Capricorn+
just because something doesn’t make sense to you doesn’t mean that it doesn’t make sense. it just probably means you’re not as smart as you think you are.
+Aquarius+
you’ll forget more things than you’ll ever remember, so you might as well get started now.
+Pisces+
let them talk. you’re above it all.
playlist
+send us your writing, ideas, notes, observations or anything you want to gallery@allstnyc.com to be considered for future editions of all or nothing+
image credits
images are by mira goodman, eve o’shea, kimin kim, thalia renaker, and lilian mühlenkamp, as part of the current exhibition at 77 east third street, titled i can’t (un)see it.